Jake and His Gun
by Mishano
Summary: She was sacrificing her life for IT, why couldn't he just sacrifice HIS? Jacob wakes up and wants to kill himself, this is his last day alive. Set in Breaking Dawn, Angst, slight Romance, Drama. T for character suicide.


_**Jake and His Gun**_

It was an ordinary, just like any other.

Well… depending on who you asked, that is.

To Jacob Black, constant torture was normal now.

He woke up like he always did, the only difference being the location. He was used to the outdoors, just not the outdoors outside of the Cullens' house where his precious Bella was sacrificing herself for her monster of a husband's demon spawn.

_She_ called it a "baby".

Really, the only difference about today was the thought he woke up with.

It really was amazing how the little line of thought had evaded his mind so easily, he had never even considered it, but now it seemed like the best thing in the world to do at this point.

He was glad he fell asleep in his human body, because he wasn't sure how Leah, who was currently running patrol, would take his little idea.

He assumed she'd be pissed.

It wasn't necessarily a _bad_ idea, just different.

Seriously, after all he'd been through, seeing the girl he loved slowly give up her life, who would blame him for wanting to do the same thing, only a little quicker?

But, he decided to himself, he wouldn't be all angsty and actually write his own suicide note, he'd just say goodbye subtly.

However, there was the thought of _how_ to do it.

He could slit his veins open, be it arms or neck, but there was too much a chance that his accelerated healing would kick in and stop the bleeding. Then he'd still be alive and have to explain to everyone what had happened…and he'd have to clean it up…

He could hang himself. But no, his neck muscles were too thick and it seemed like such a gaudy way to go, like hanging up a scarecrow.

So finally, he decided a quick shot to the head should do it.

Like most people in LaPush, Billy Black owned only one gun, a hunting rifle, which the tribes advanced to after bows and arrows.

It might not do the trick, but it was his best option.

Slowly Jacob turned his dark brown, almost black, eyes up to the sky. He noted how the sky was clearing just a tiny bit, and small, almost invisible, rays of light would glint through.

There were still small drops of dew left on the leaves gently swaying in the trees above him, and they sparkled softly whenever such a ray would fall upon them.

Sighing contently, Jacob realized that this should have been his course all along. Just by thinking of what was going to come brought a small, but genuine smile to his face.

He had a few loose ends to tie up, so he slowly rose to his feet and phased. As soon as all four paws hit the ground he took off running towards the reservation's border, where he knew the other pack was.

_Jake? What're you doing?_

_ I'm going to make amends._

_ Amends? To who?_

_ Sam. Quil. Embry. Everyone._

_ …Why?_

_ It's just something I need to do, just like I need to do with you._

_ Jake, you're scaring me, what's going on?_

_ Leah, I'm sorry for everything mean or rude I've said to you. You never deserved it, any of it. You deserved the best, but life's not fair, so I'm sorry for making it even a little bit harder then it needed to be…_

All Jake heard from the other end was silence as Leah tried to understand what his words meant, but before she had enough time to contemplate them, he'd reached the border and phased back, slipping on his shorts before walking towards the spot they usually gathered the pack for meetings.

Before he got halfway there, however, he was met by Quil in all his wolfen glory.

"Hey Quil, I need to talk to Sam, could you send a message his way to meet me in the usual spot?"

Quil stayed only a moment longer before darting off to find Sam.

Jacob didn't have to wait long before he felt the air shimmer around him and his former alpha came into the clearing with him.

"Quil said you wanted to speak with me."

"Sam, I'm sorry…"

Jacob returned to the Cullen house feeling even better then when he'd woken up, apologizing to Sam went well, and afterwards he had gone to his father, telling him how proud he was to be his son.

Billy had even started crying.

But now Jacob had to tie up one more loose end, and say goodbye to the girl he spent most of his life trying to protect, and who would soon be dead, just like himself, only he was beating her too it.

He took one last breath of fresh air before diving into the sickly-sweet smelling home of blood-sucking leeches and dying best friends.

Bella was lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines he'd only ever seen on TV, and he realized she was closer to death then he thought.

He walked quietly over to her, but even his soft footsteps woke her up, or maybe she wasn't even sleeping anymore. She waved off her bodygaurd sergaent blondie who he had been ignoring.

"Hey Jake." She was going to die. There was nothing left in her. The only small comfort Jacob could give himself was that he wasn't going to be lingering around to see it.

Edward, who had been crouching on her other side, snapped his head up. Jake didn't even care that the creep could hear his thoughts, he only asked that he didn't say anything about them. He actually _asked_, not ordered or threatened, but _asked._ That alone got Edward to keep his mouth shut.

Slowly, subtly, Jacob made small talk with Bella and carefully apoligized for anything he could think of without making it too obvious, before he got up and headed for the door, and turning, he gave her one last gentle smile.

"Goodbye, Bella."

"Jacob!"

It wasn't Bella who'd spoken, it was Edward.

"Jacob, please… are…are you _sure_?"

"Yes. I am"

"It'll make everyone sad… It'll make Bella sad…" He said this softly so Bella couldn't hear, but Jake could.

"They'll all miss you…_I'll_ miss you…"

Jacob thought that was kind of creepy, but at the same time he realized that maybe they never had to have been enemies.

"I'm Sorry, Edward. For everything."

"I'm sorry to, Jacob. I wish… I wish we could've been friends… and I wish you could've had the life that you'd wanted…"

"Thanks." And with one last smile at Bella, who was confused, and for the first and last time sending that genuine smile towards Edward, he softly said "Goodbye."

Outside of the house he phased and sent all his goodbye's and I'm sorry's to Leah and Seth, who had just started patrol.

They both were in shock of his sudden kindness, but before they had sense to question him he had reached his father's house.

Billy didn't know why his son had brought on the emotional confessions earlier in the day, but he appreciated it, and didn't think anything was wrong about it.

Jacob did feel bad about stealing the gun and one bullet while Billy was mooning over old pictures of the family, but he realized that he couldn't ask for it and make Billy feel guilty about giving it to him after what he planned to use it for.

So, silently, he took the rifle out of it's case, slipped two bullets in his pocket in case one was a dud, and headed off, on foot, towards the beach where he had told Bella about the Quilette legends.

Once he arrived at that tree he held dearly in his memory, he slipped a single bullet in the gun, and looked around at the empty beach.

He sat down and relaxed, letting the ocean breezed carress him.

He thought back on all of his favorite memories, his parents, his sister, he and Bella making mud pies in the back yard when Vampires and Werewolves were just scary stories and nothing more…

Reaching down, he gently pressed the tip of his finger on the sand near his feet, and very carefully drew a heart about the size of his hand.

It was the final push and he finally felt bittersweet tears roll down his face.

Looking out at the water and the sun starting to sink, he pressed the end of the barrel ever-so-softly against his lips, then, parting them, he relaxed his top row of teeth against the top of the barrel and felt the metal press on the roof of his mouth.

With his right index finger he traced the trigger.

Closing his eyes he felt he lips stretch into a smile as he held onto his favorite memory of sweet young Bella, one of the times he had helped her up after she had fallen.

_I love you Jake! I'll love you forever!_

And as the first drops of that day started to fall, the only thing the pack, Billy Black, and the Cullens heard…

Was one

Single

Gunshot…


End file.
